A Phemale Phan’s Baker’s Dozen

Once again, it’s that time of year when I stoop to objectifying the male posterior in order to provide entertainment  for my female readers (see here and here for last year’s installments of eye candy).

While scouring my meager stash of photos from this past season for the ideal buns, I recalled the Baked Goods Rating Scale, hereafter referred to as the BGRS. The BGRS was devised by a very good friend who shall remain nameless (just in case she doesn’t want her name linked in public to my admittedly juvenile undertaking). I hope I’m remembering it correctly.

The BGRS ranges from Crumbs….

…all the way to Kaiser Rolls (with Pancakes, Biscuits, and Buns in between).

[OK, men, the pictures of food are over, so if you want to stop reading now, that's fine.]

I’m happy to report that most of the Phillies fall within the ideal Biscuit/Bun range, with only one veering dangerously close to Pancake territory.

See if you can identify this baker’s dozen of buns:

Texas buns

2nd Generation buns

Beaver buns

Rule 5 buns

Free Agent buns

Rookie buns - ♫ isn't he...pretty in pink… ♫

Fragile buns

"They're ba-a-a-a-ck!" - Returning buns

Departing buns?

Ace buns

Underperforming buns

Not Quite buns

Razorback buns

Just in case you were wondering, no, I don’t stalk the players around with my big lens. :-)  These are cropped from normal pictures that I took from my seat.

So how many do you know? Let me know in the comments section!

13 Comments

I have no idea. But this would be a funnnnn google scavenger hunt…

I am too overwhelmed to guess after seeing all that…lol As always, you manage to find all the best angles!

Jenn, I can’t believe you didn’t recognize your favorite buns in there!?! You’re usually such a connoisseur of the male bottom. ;-)

Sue,
Where is the like button? Never mind, I found it LOL! Too many things to see in this post. Nice variety of Buns. Fragile was it Werth?

No, not Werth; actually, he’s not in any of them, since he wasn’t with the Phils this year. Fragile buns is Utley – once he got back from his knee problem, he had to do all kinds of extra stretching before the games, which is what was going on in that pic.

Funny. You should have included the best posteriors in the major league: Matt’s and Andre’s!!

Cat, yes, there are definitely some nice posteriors out there that are not Phillies! Hmm, maybe I’ll have to embark on an all-MLB best bun search! :-)

Love it. Must include the best posteriors in all of baseball: Matt’s and Andre’s!!

Oops.I’m repeating myself!! I guess it was worth repeating!!!

I could take some guesses, but I’m sticking with don’t analyze, just enjoy. :) Thank you, Sue!
Visuals like this are all it took to convince a Giants fan friend of mine of the joys of getting to the park well before first pitch. “Why did no one ever tell me about warm-ups!” he said. Too funny.
— Kristen

Glad you enjoyed it, Kristen! They certainly do some odd-looking things during warm-ups. I really have to stop fixating on their bottoms, or they may ban me from sitting in that area of the stadium.

Oh my. I made it through all those buns without throwing up! But I still couldn’t tell one from the other.
–Jeff

Sorry about that, Jeff. I hope you weren’t in the midst of your breakfast! I did say when the food pictures were over though. :-)

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