Results tagged ‘ Juan Castro ’

Juan Almighty

Phillies team yearbooks never fail to provide sources of amusement for me. There isn’t usually a whole lot of substantive writing in them, but lots of color pictures of the players, along with their answers to a number of banal questions regarding favorite things, places they’d like to visit, and so on.

Last year, we learned that Cole Hamels is a fan of the Twilight series of novels. *snicker, snicker*

This year, one of the questions is “What famous person would you like to trade places with for a day?”

While most of the responses were other athletes or musicians, both John Mayberry Jr. and Carlos Ruiz would like to be President Obama for a day.

Juan Castro, however, is shooting straight for the top.

castro scan0001.jpgHe’d like to be God.

Of course, this begs the question of what would he do with his God-powers for one day? Perhaps heal all the Phillies that are on the DL?

Or, seeing how he has since been released by the Phillies after batting an uninspiring .198 in 54 games, maybe he should start by upgrading his own baseball skills.

(page scanned from Philadelphia Phillies 2010 Yearbook)

“Don’t Want No Foo-Foo Haircut On My Head”

Tim Lincecum, winner of this year’s NL Cy Young award, seems to have an aversion to haircuts of any kind, “foo-foo” or otherwise. Witness the length of his locks in this recent photo:

lincecum hair.jpg

Maybe his award should have been named the Cyann Young award. Pretty soon, I’ll be getting him confused with her:

pattismith3.jpg

70′s punk pioneer Patti Smith. Ms. Smith appears to be a bit confused herself, as it appears that she’s standing next to a urinal.

Of course, smoking certain substances has been known to cause memory loss. Thank goodness Timmy has that tattoo of the symbol for “male” on his back to remind him, just in case!

mlb 2k9.jpg

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

In Phillies-related news, a one-year deal appears imminent with Juan Castro, who will replace Eric Bruntlett as a utility infielder. Not much to say on this, as I don’t know too much about Castro, but he certainly has to be an improvement over Bruntlett’s abysmal .171 batting average.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving – I hope all of you out there have a great turkey day, and enjoy the time spent with your family and friends. Every year I intend not to eat so much, but I always do, and spend the rest of the afternoon practically comatose.

As soon as I’m done typing this, I better go start cleaning like a fiend – only 24 hours till my guests arrive!

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - –

In case you were wondering, the title of this entry is a song from the truly unique Mojo Nixon. Check him out, you’ll see that “unique” doesn’t even begin to convey the full wierdness that is Mojo.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.